I have moved

I have moved my blog .... please visit

shadesofmind.expressionsinfinitum.com

Color Blind thoughts

Passion fruit of color-blind perception

O love! the white promise of reception

gray springs and darkened falls

nothin is black and white at all

the dull desire to be with me.. o mine!

yet the fire in the dark eyes for others to shine

poison taste of color-blind perception

oh love! the powerful deception

the dead desire and missing twinkle in the eye

letting it go and setting the sights high

the light skies of darker quests

and yet the heart safe, not a care for the rest

final leap of color-blind perception

o love! the last inception

Writing thought

When there is nothing to write
When there is thoughts but no means in sight

Choicy Thoughts

The choices which we believe were made by us and us only are the ones that sting the most when they go bad.


Is it ok then to regret them? The instinct says NO, the human in me says yes. Only by realizing the bad choices, can one really make new better ones. Or can one? it is not about making choices. Depending on the years past since the bad choices are made, one may be just too chicken to make a harder choice. Even then, how can I trust myself to make better choices?

Didnt I make one, against all odds, against the whole world, against the norm and it blew up in my face. Can I trust myself to make more choices or just stay there mute, watching shriveling as I die a painful death in shackles. How do I know this is not the best thing that can ever happen to me. Do I dare to dream more?

Freedom is just a concept, an ideology which sounds good to hear about. When is man really free form his conceptions, beliefs, urges, prejudices, decisions, comforts?

The irony is although I may be free to make my own choices, I am not free enough to make none! Is that real freedom. It seems life is contrary to freedom, although I am free to make choices, but not all of them even if it concerns no one just me.

What then is freedom? It may seem like freedom is to life what good is to evil, existance of one is dependent on another.

Conflicting thoughts

What is it that makes you want more of something you cant forgive or forget. Heart is such a wuss and ofcorse brain - so sexually desperate. Adult life teaches us that desires are conflicting, dreams can be nightmares, nightmares can be lived. One thing which it doesnt teach us is to let go, get out and break the shackles. So what is life but a stockholm syndrome. Breaking free isnt easy, because shackles are everywhere, you break one, others spring up instantaneously.

Moving on is difficult, often important things are difficult, but if its only about things life would be easy.

Escaping thoughts

when sleep escapes me reading is the only sedative to keep me sane.

Coward thoughts

My eyes dwindle
happiness is fleeting
i compromise, i hold firm
its fleeting

My existence a burden
sheer pain to the loved
the black sun frowning down
life's weakeness sudden.

The Opressive strategy

Past oppression can often be used as an excuse to commit future injustice.

Women do it all the time. Women were oppressed long time ago ... so why cant I do this .....

Its time to die

Here I lie
Bored and serene
Age not movin
Time slinging by .....

Thoughts passing through
excitements said bye
ambitions unknown
not even a sigh

whats the point to live
there is way to high
i may just give up
is it time yet ... to die?

The End!

the soul has the body and heart
your body doesnt accept me
and u had feelings for else,
shared me out even of that part


Ok I accept, that I am no adept
you may classify me as a psycho
cheating could happen with a thought
even if one hasnt slept

I cant be there
just as friend
I need to move on
make piece with fate- the fiend.

Musical Thoughts

Music, I need to understand music. No need is not the right word, I want to understand music. May be that will help bring peace. Or will death? Death cant, death only brings defeat, I aint a coward, life goes on. Those innocent dreams, those beautiful memories all deceit, over 8 years of deceit make you look like fool. I clung, yeah I clung to the past, I assumed if things could change the wrong way, they could change the right way too. But they dont. They remain. You bring them close to your heart, you lower your guard and they put a knife through it, if you are not dead inside, they come nearer and push it harder. You take their portrait with u, remembering the good times, the great times ..... those smiles of deceit, those lies of innocence. There is no light at the end of the tunnel, its a mirage, stick with it and die thirsty, stabbed, deceived and holed in the name of love.

Wish them luck and move on, life goes on ...its a long tale of dispair, hopelessness and deceit. I wonder why I vouch for immortality so often!

For dreams may come true, but still prove nightmares.

Doctorate Thoughts

phd is like love marriage, masters is like love affair.

both can go horribly wrong .... but then ..... both have potentials

Hot Relationships

A hot relationship has dual meaning, sexual which is great and then the other which deals with tempers. Do you have a hot relationship?

The thread thoughts

There is anger, yes, there is knots in the thread, yes. The thread can never be whole, yes. Which thread really is? Its not the strength of the thread weakness of knots that one must be concerned about. What about it then, can one forget, forgive? One may, but while it can be expected of the self, how can you expect the same from the others included in the arrangement. The arrangement to strengthen the thread, the same thread which is made not by fiber but by knot themselves ... or so it seems.

How many chances is the thread worth? Would it really happen that the thread would remain just that ... a thread - no emotions, missing passion, growing scorn.

Ingeneous Thoughts

You make a mistake, hurt someone and then ask forgiveness. Once forgiven, give them a hard time for saying hurtful things to you in their anger/hurt. Genius!

Timely Thoughts

There comes a time in life after which every choice you make is a bad choice. You just need to choose the one which seems to be less painful in the long term.

Caesarian Thoughts

For people who dont learn from the first time .....

et tu brute "iterum!" :O ...

iterum : again

Trusting thoughts

Why my friend if you cant trust those who have faltered, you can never trust a human being.

Apparantly you dont just loose weight eating Yoplait Light. You also loose your mind.

"let in" "let out"

Religion revisited

the heart waled and the eyes wounded with bloody tears
is death worth the coming years
the religion of life not more so dear, no not anymore
come come ... o look immortality is now a fear

what has life to offer why so dear
all light when is destined to disappear
whats the religion worth when eternal misery is to offer
its like devils dream come true and thus prosper

Loss of a lover is nothing compared to loss of a good friend, still it hurts like hell. Never have both with the same person - you would loose both the same day.

Lovely Thoughts

I was wondering what is the most destructive thing in the world.
Well the answer is Love :). Some people are destroyed by its elusiveness, some by finding it, some by loosing it, some just by simply mis-understanding it.

Blaming Thoughts

The best way to blame someone is to first take a tiny-miniscule amount of blame yourself .... you know "I went a little overboard" ... yeah that bring the listener to trust you a bit (after all he must be telling the "whole truth", after all, he is blaming himself" ..... and then you explain how horribly the other person did. There you go you have very successfully just shifted the whole blame to the other guy. Just have to approach it right ;)

Patriotic Thoughts

Since the politicials (everyone in the governing body) are so corrupt, it is extremely important to make the Armymen understand that they are laying their lives for the country and not for the dumb politicians. It is also very important to make them learn not to think, but to shoot, for thinking heads cant shoot for corruption - ofcorse all absurdities can be explained by a noble cause.
"For the greater good they say" ...... we all live to die one day for the greater good, dont we?

Fatty Thoughts

So does beauty really matter? It does doesnt it?

Straight men and gay women line up for beautiful women. Straight gals and gay men line up for handsome men.

well ofcorse we try to believe that its not the truth ... by the great words like "beauty is only skin deep" ... duh! we only look skin deep so what does it matter how deep the beauty is?

All those branded sandals, macara, gels, shaving creams all costly and yet sold so fervently as if they were more important than FOOD itself.

Nah I think .. in fact I believe I have been mistaken for so long. Beauty is after all important aspect which cannot be looked over and it helps fit.

Loving Thoughts

Sometimes we hate someone so much, it actually feels like love. And just to make sure we get married and sure enough ... divorced

Alcoholic Thoughts - The addict within

Oh mighty conqurer! I envy thine ways ........

Destination Thoughts

Life is a pathway to hell, just to ad to the sadism, we are provided with mutually exclusive choices ... all leading to same destination.

Its not the destination, but the convenience of the journey which the choices govern.

Believing Thoughts

If Passion were never ending, if love meant compatibility ..... I might have understood the concept called God better.

Healthy Thoughts

I wish all diseases were OJ Simpson's Girlfriend, atleast we would have gotten rid of one of the scum.

Monitoring Thoughts

Who monitors GOD? Power corrupts absolutely ..... oh oh ... I am in trouble now.

Pleasurable Thoughts

For all those Monks, Sadhus, Clergymen and Pundits ............................

If Pleasure is Sin and Sin is Pleasure, then GOD has no fun ? Whats he doing watching?

Perfect Thoughts

Perfection is an unachievable sin!

Satisfaction an unachievable desire!

Immortality an unachievable truth!

I have a choice thought

The concept of God is repulsive, the concept of devil is attractive ... but I seem to have "A choice"

Comic Thoughts - The discussion within

I am unable to act - The bad side always ends the discussion after giving its point of view and without caring to listen to the good side and the good side is hence so pissed that it doesnt care anymore to act on things.

So my neutral side writes because it doesnt have courage to act anyway ......

Worshipping Thoughts

So I dont have a religion .... i do by birth but not by choice. But a huge part of existance is BELIEF. Belief in something, something more powerful, something amazing ... no GOD the concept doesnt sound convincing ..... somehow GOD doesnt sound fair.

I have been thinking, what can I worship within sanity, today it occured to me - Life, more so Human Life. It is the highest form of marvel greater only to nature itself, but why I discounted nature ... I am not sure ... although I am in awe of nature but I dont worship it I cant worship the vastness encased in the word "nature" , I need something simple something direct ........... selfish? materialistic? .... may be .... I call it practical.

So anyways .... if I want to worship I would worship Human Life - The highest intelligence form there is. The greatest evil would be anything that destroys it or justifies its destruction in the name of anything.

Doctors and researchers who work to better and increase the health and the life-span are the highest saints of this religion. Every hardworking person who contributes towards the advancement of life are the ardent followers. Immortality the highest achievement, longevity the goal.

Yes this is the religion that makes more sense to me. A religion out of respect and not out of fear, a religion to help improve and not to destroy.


Now is the next step - define the religion in a way it doesnt compromise/sacrifice individuals for "the greater good".

just ... tjoughts

just do it .... it didnt work .... it seldom works .... it never works

Shitty Thoughts

If you want the shit to look good, make your CEO speak about it .....

(pun intended in every way)

Weekend Thoughts

Ok so its the weekend and a big challenge awaits me. Infact next few years are going to be very challenging. Challenges, though the solve factors which keep life interesting, not all challenges are desirable. Infact life is full of undesirable challenges. But today, I am not gonna right about my life or how pissed I am currently with it. Today I feel writing about the future. Of how I would deram the future to be:

Hmm ... my future .... try as I m ight I cannot see future to be ridden of evil and peaceful. No because man's ego cannot be controlled, and so its whims cannot be assumed away. No it will be there, so be it.

What I dream of is a future where man is the master of elements. He has the power to bend the natures elements to his bidding without hurting himself in anyway. A place where himan is no longer dependent on oxygen to breathe and water to drink. A place where living under water is as much a possibility as living on the earth. The world would need sn to get its energy but where we would have emmence control on nuclear fission and fusion reactions and perfect and easy contermeasures to the possibilities of them getting out of hand.


Yes, this feels good. A future where human would be the tuly supreme being. He would ahve the abilities beound we can think of. Teleportation, telekinesis, flying would be some of them. With these abilities he would have the great ability to have more order and better maturity to keep his destructive desires in check.


We would be able to find and communicate with lives beyond earth itself, talk to them , and probably mutually co-exist happily (oh! the greedy human, this is a stretch by any imagination though). We would have conquered death in ways before untold. The legends similar to the way we conquered the sky something assumed only possible in fairy tales.

Teaming thoughts

When people say to me "There is no I in the team", I often tend to reply "There is no 'u' either so back off" .... and then to others attending the ill fated meeting "there is no 'we' either ... so back off".

In fact if the team or the world is not motivated by people who think of "I" in the team, the world would have been quite a few paces behind from where it is now, though probably it could have been better.

Peaceful Thoughts

Peace is costly, cost is stressful ....

Choicy Thoughts

"Life is about choices" I have known this for quite some time. Its just that every choice I have got has "screw you" written on it, with butter on top. Yeah so no matter which ones I make, I end up screwed and FAT!

The Deathly Thoughts

Death and birth are truths. Why are our bodys built the way they have to end. Why havent we figured out the secret to immortality? Like woody allen once said something like, "I dont wanna be immortal by being famous, I wanna be immortal by not dieing".

My mind is flooded with questions right now. Imagine the pain of loosing a limb .... its unbearable. Now imagine the pain of loosing a whole loved one! So much beautiful life, so many loved ones. Why does life have to end? Why do we accept "death" as a fact. Yes we try to live longer but why dont we try to reach immortality.

Is it because new generations are born every day and the old ones have to go to make way for them! HAVE TO ! HAVE TO!

Isnt it atrocious/prepostrous that we are brought about as recyclable materials who can think and feel. How can the ones who accept death as a fact considered wise? Why is death not defiable?

Why is life cursed with the loss of loved ones? Why is survival such a challenge?

We who work for the better tomorrow would never be there to enjoy it. Our thoughts, discoveries, inventions, knowledge all for people who may not even understand the pains we took to reach there. Why are we doing this, is death such a huge challenge that we need generations of knowledge to finally defy it? is it really un-defiable? Are we approaching the problem in the right way?


Since centuries organisms are mutating for survival. Some have longer life spans than other. How come humans the most intelligent of all organisms failed to mutate past 100 years? What stops us from achieving that? Why cant we decrease the rate at which we age? Is anyone working on that. You know while others like me idle their time thinking they are doing important things .... writing their thoughts out, reviewing products, creating useless softwares which create animations ..... we as individuals face extinction. There are others working on this somewhere in the world, but no one cares, probably there is no funding, we have all accepted this downfall as naturual - death as a fact.

Cancerous Thoughts

Whats the difference between Love and Cancer. Cancer causes death, love causes suicide - which is worse? Cancer is treatable although the treatment leaves the body scarred for life while love claims the soul and tortures it perennialy.

We can find a cure .... prevention for cancer. What is the cure for the attrocities of love - death.


I choose to live just to beat it ... for try as I may I cannot end it!

Enjoying Thoughts

Never let your enjoyment be dependent on someone else.

Hopeful's thoughts

hope is a young man's dream , a mature one's distant memory, an old man's nightmare.

Crossing

If I crossed my fingers for every crucial result I await, they would be entangled in a perennial deadlock.

Emotional Thoughts

emotions dont drive the life .... they are just recreational stops. If you stay too long, you inadvertantly wrote your destiny to be sad.

Evilish Thoughts

Everyone is as evil as the other, some just try harder to hide their instinct, only few succeed.

Pungent thoughts

The smell of victory is often made pungent with the breath of war!

Appreciating thoughts

I understand that evil was kept alive so everyone could appreciate THE good. Why then were we given a choice in creating their definitions?

Imperfect/imprecise definitions lead to confused individuals. Some take them literally, some reasonably, some try to redefine them - they form three different groups and try to destroy each other to prove their correctness. The survived opinion becomes truth and future generations are forced to live by them. And this continues amidst civilization, amidst progress, we repeat history, the more knowledgeable we get the more opinionated we become. Hell! I am glad we accepted that the earth goes round the sun, or i would still be writing ballads on how the burning ball of fire going round-round the earth gives me free light every 12 hrs or so.

Imagine if we continued taking that literally, many years from now when sun starts loosing heat, a child would say ... mommy ask dad to change that revolving good fr nothing bulb, I fucking cant see anything and turn on that damn heater!

Blind thoughts

sun is bright, yet its night
the bright colors and awesome sky
the absent dark and glistening white
Ah! if i still had my sight

Lucky thoughts

Well somebody made me a comment today. "One should keep some level of rationality instead of starting to take desperate measures. After all it could be just a bout of bad luck". What makes us think that the concept of luck is rational! What rational thought or reason explains the phenomenon that determines someone gets everything even though they dont deserve it, while someone looses everything even though they did their best to achieve it. If you can bring luck into the the realm of rational thoughts, the realm of your thoughts has already wandered into the wastelands of irrationalism. O'corse you wont agree when I break this to you .... now who is being irrational?

Defining Thoughts

Definitions are perfectly thin dark lines. Between definitions lie huge amounts grey space. We as humans, the people with morals, sense and thought, keep jumping and wandering in these grey spaces. Sometimes we come close to one definition, sometimes other. In some cases we stay quite close to those definitions and we start thinking "we follow these definitions", which can never be true for the knowledge of an opposite is a deterration from the line itself.


The human existence is defined in the grey area of space of infinite defintions (Dark Lines), I call it as philosophical space. In the quest to find ourselves, we immerse ourselves in more and more definitions, we create them, we invent them, we modify them, to get close to a point of intersection - the point which is us, the point which defines us - our identity. We fail though, our mind yet limited by the same definitions we thus created consciously/unconsciously to identify ourselves.

Trying thoughts

run where I see the light ..... a mirage try as I might

Satisfactory Thoughts

if you think you have achieved true satisfaction ...... hurry ...... jump from a cliff or something.

Reasons:
(1) whats the point of living further ?
(2) This kind of feeling is usually short lived ... and once the feeling is lost .... boy does that suck!

Moral Thoughts

Right/Moral/Civil are just other names of what a democratic majority finds acceptable.

Although these terms should be "absolute", if they come from GOD (or the way the word GOD is defined), apparently they are not


If you were a king or queen, ofcorse you were always "Right"

If you were in a carnivorous society, cutting, cooking and eating a human up would be "Civil"

If you were in Roman times, slavery would be considered "Moral", in fact if you have the most number of slaves in the county, you will be termed a nobleman

Pretty much how a nation selects the president. The more acceptable candidate gets the title ;). and then "WARs" become not only acceptable but ..... right ..... "essential"


the definitions of thus "perfectly absolute abstractions" are written by "definers" who are the embodiments of imperfectness, for they are raised ... not alone ... not aloof ..... but in a society.

If these definitions come from GOD, then they shouldn't change overtime. If they do, that means GOD changes over time ..... that means there is an inherent instability in not just the creation, but also the creator!

But who wrote the definition of GOD ....... the ones who are raised in a society ...... ;). So the definition itself has all its inherent imperfectness, contradictions and falsehood. Whether you write it as a sentence or a book.

"Ollywoody Thoughts

If i were to believe the movies today,

A famous genius is inadvertently a sinister villian, who would be thwarted by an overly acrobatic and rather good looking chimpanzees with ridiculous three digit codes....

An infamous genius is a future famous genius hence "a sinister villain in making".

So those who want to be geniuses raise your hands and those who want to be heroes ........ scratch your bottoms ;)

Ambitious Thoughts

Who would you rather be?

A genius never acclaimed for his achievements, OR a looser suddenly presented with glory and glamor of thus unknwon genius' achievements?

Choose now, chose not wisely, but only by "honest instinct" for that determines ...................................................................................................... nah ...nothing

But the question is:

Can you survive the former AND Can you resist the latter?

Brave Thoughts

There has always been a broad line between bravery and stupidity. Idiots just make it look thin by surviving their misdemeaned mis-adventures.

Unwelcome Thoughts

My overstayed welcome drives senile
thou hath that forced smile
the talons of past grips them now
with dull moments of twin facile

boredom looms and continuance dooms
watered and green plants ..... the monotons
the wanted move never in sight
Oh the comradery! ..the furtive delight

Choicy Thoughts

Life is nothing but an inverted cake of bad choices. The icing at the bottom being the good choices hidden beneath the dark mountain.

step-backed thoughts

The mixed feelings stay to flay
The cute face
the weary welcome
the disabled smile
the withdrawn embrace


the wait for the verdict, not yet
the wandering hope
the celebrated division
the fatefull toss
love.....the apparent loss

Obsessive Thoughts

I breathe but do i live?
I cut but why dont I bleed?
I dance on my grave
jumping on obsession to obsession
to find the thrill satisfaction passion magic
none's tenor is vindictive, none has the magic

amalgamated with past
retry the fated obsession
the magic is gone
the passion is lost

where to find where to run
jump to the moon or to the sun
to feel alive and yet not to burn
something to beckon

Alas! I die tonight
only to reborn in AM
the pain I feel, keeps me alive
so dance I must, till the ultimate passion
the one which will become THE obsession

Living Thoughts

Its life ..... the exploration of unknown and unexpected.

For without threats ...... survival has no meaning..... without war .. peace has no meaning ... without sadness ... smile has no meaning ......

without contradictions ..... facts have no meaning

Second Chancing Thoughts

There is always a second chance ...... but Why is that by the time THE second chance comes along ..... its lost its charm ... purpose .... need ..... magic ..... point!

Visa Thoughts

Visa is the politically stamped version of apartheid.

So how much did you pay to get your Visa rejected? .... pathetic

Just because there are thoughts

Call me a ____ bastard, but i just cant resort to drinking to sink my nightmares. Prolonged sleep may be, yes or no sleep at all ... but no never a drink. For the taste of life itself is not savored with a nauseus brain. So what do I envision to rid meself of these scorching live nightmares?

I debate myself with alternatives. drinking is not one, no ... yes its common ... but its too weak for my taste. Sleep yes ... sleep is good .... but insomnia hits me almost the same time as the adversities, so sleeps not a lot of help.

must be some way to make the mind numb, insomnia will probably do it eventually, but how long can i endure? nah there has to be a faster way, best friends adviced meditation. Yes that might actually help, but where do I find a quiet place? meditation thus has a requirement a dependency which I cannot at this stage afford.

So what next, can i naturally paralyze myself so nothing moves for an hr. Just my eyes and senses ..... well I cant let go of my senses .. they make the life worth it.

movies, commercials, work, comedy, writing are just distractions whcih provide momentary relief and hence I ramble on................ is there a purpose? no just a hope that my mind gets numb while writing and I dont hit publish. Thats not going to happen is it.

I am pitying myself too much, thats not write. Gotta get back to life .... there is more light .... I will find it.

Writing helps, always did ....always will........................... I will find it....

Resuming thoughts - What is what in a resume

Everyone knows how technical HR staff is. They are like a string matching algorithm, no I am sorry, algorithms are start, HR is more like the people who "analyze" the results of string matching algorithms. Yeah although the word "analyze" makes them look smart, we all know how smart HR personnel really are. Here are some important words to be present in resume and their actual meaning (usual) in real world.

worked with "Mission Critical" applications: logged in computer, logged out of computer, switch on computer and switch off computer.

I will keep updating.

Circumstantial Thoughts

Circumstances are somethings we have to shape for ...they never shape for us.

Those who can shape up with circumstances survive, its the nature's law.

Treasuring Thoughts

If you just discovered a hidden treasure of some worth, you pretty much shortened your lifetime to 1 day. Every single second after tomorrow is being just as lucky as a living rich old guy married to a young and beautiful wife "really in love" with him.

Corrupting Thoughts

Every Governments Motto: Too much is never enough

too much corruption
too much taxes
too much war
too much media
too much propaganda
too much BS.

Taxing thoughts

Taxes: Just another way for the government to keep the bright and smart on a leash.
Taxes: Just another barrier for the bright and smart to break and move on.

Writers Thoughts

After so long it just feels so good to just write. Quite often the writer inside me comes when I am too pertrubed or drunk with sadness. But what when the threshold crosses such a level of craziness that the mind refuses to put it in words.

Has the craziness subsided? Well, no but the mind is getting used to the numbness. Its getting over the shock, its been a bumpy ride, especially bumpy because the vigorousness was quite incomprehendable when I signed in on it. Part of life? well duh! I am living it aint I?

Enough of my explanations on why I stopped writing. Writing comes natuarally to a loner like me. Its an instinct a natural outlet. Its just the typing part of it that cramps my style. It would be so cool to have an instrument that just writes what you think.

And yeah, I dont know why I feel like saying this ..... but TRUTH HURTS!!

Achieving thoughts

The only difference between a high achiever and a not so high achiever is that the high achiever not only knows what his weakness are, but also knows how to overcome them.

Progressive Thoughts

The most important reason for human's progress is laziness, curiosity doesnt make the top 10. Curiosity is just for the geeks to feel good about the whole thing.

Aciduos Thoughts

The legendry shrine
filled with Brine,
the chilly winds
the shrills of time

The cracked moon and the deceptive shooting star,
The violent cold war at par
The wish granted with pale desire
The war thus killed the fire

The purple haze in the morning face
The red sight in afternoons mace
Lives the dark thought at dawn
Witness the nightmare, no longer a sleep's pawn

Forgiving Thoughts

Forgiveness is painful. For if you forgive and dont feel any pain, you probably had nothing to forgive for in the first place.

painful thoughts

ffforgiveness is ppainfull.

Satisfactory Thoughts

I am not sure whether most satisfaction comes from relaxing and doing nothing ... or chasing a dream like a wildfire.

I know some dreams can bring real satisfaction though. :)

[and wetness :p]

Travellers Thoughts - packaged

If love is a part of the package for this journey called life, exactly why are sex, happiness and orientation optional?

Limitless Thoughts - The irony!

I know everything has its limits, but why should I let someone else define mine?

Human's existance is secured by the limits pre-defined at the time of birth. He doesnt chose them, he adapts them. Adaptation leads to assuming the the limits as "nature". Death, for instance, its a limit human being has adapted to, for centuries. He tries to stretch the limit ["prolong the life"] but still finds breaking the limit ["Immortality"] unthinkable, unachievable. What Irony??

Overrated Thoughts - Hype

"GOD" is probably the most over-rated concept in Human History, followed closely by "man is social animal", "true happiness", "satisfaction". The other contenders in Top 10 include "maturity", "sex", "relationship" and "marriage".

Druidic Thoughts - The love tonic!

Love is such a potion for the weak! but even the strong give up strength to get a dose of it.

Side effects include- illusion, heartache, dilemma, nausea, addiction, suicide. In case of women it can often cause pregnancy ;).
If not taken in proper supervision may lead to marriage! May cause serious acidity if not taken with lots of sex.

Please consult your brain if 'love' is right for you. Ask for a second opinion if it seems right for you!

Exciting Thoughts

People keep asking me whats new? Why is new in life so cosistently insignificant that I can never define it? ... never excited about it? Why is the life in general so boring?

Everlasting thoughts

Life without love can still be happy but a life with guilt can never be. Only a guiltless person can be truly helpful. There are ofcorse two ways of being guiltless - dont do anything wrong or dont have a concience. Both are quite difficult.

guilt of spoken words may die, for spoken words seldom last long, actions however always last forever.

Relieved Thoughts

Why is that the sight of seeing other people making same mistakes as we did, provides such a relief?

Questions Questions

Have you ever felt insignificant? Have you ever questioned your existance? These questions usually haunt me. Why were we made the way we are. Why was earth chosen to be given life. How come we are not able to find life outside earth? If life was created just on earth than isnt this a vast waste of resources available in Universe? Why did anything exist in the first place? How did the first atom come into existance? What is existance? Why hasnt human been contacted by outer life? Why the word alien still a science fiction?

Who created this? What was the purpose of creation ...entertainment ...? Was life actually meant to be or is it just a by-product of something else? There must have been some flaw with the creator's designs! What good a machinery is which can stop functioning within 70 -100 years! Why was the creator incapable of creating longer-lasting machinery (life forms)? Probably he is not as limitless as people make him to be? Or probably it was never intended to create life, but it just occured as an unwanted by-product. And the living are now discarded on this planet just like nuclear wastes are.

Universe is such mystical realm...such baffling facts ..... such unknown dimensions. Yet humans, the only species cabable of comprehending such vastness, answering such obscure questions, indulge in such vile acts as terrorism taking innocent lives causing so much damage, stopping progress.

Knowledgible thoughts

Power is the by product of knowledge and undeniable presence of gullible people.

Super Hero Thoughts

I created a team of super heroes, they were laid off because of lack of work - there were no super villians!

Portrait

I write infront of whom i describe. Wouldnt that imply I create a portrait? A portrait of words, just like the strokes of a painter. The painter defines how the portrait looks, of what features to highlight, what characters to impart. Its dangerous!

Here I sit infront of my life. Or what I thought would be my life and more than it. I have been granted that wish yes ... the wish to endure what I presumed the basis of my life.

But why do I feel scared carving the portrait. Painters sometimes are afraid of the portraits they create. Is it because they are worried they would reveal too much of their soul via the strokes of that brush ..... too much of their character in someone else's portrait. Yes, they are afraid. But is that the only reason .... isnt there more?. The fear of creating a hopeful spectacle depicting brilliance. Hope not for the one portraid, but the portrayer! Why then am I not supposed to dwindle!. Hope cane be like a ray of light ..... the ray which might be visible at the start of the never-ending dark tunnel .... its just a trick of the mirrors anyways!

This portrait is like the dream that came true, with just the scenic detail and none of the meaning. The hope that could never have been a nightmare, proven just that. You try to move on, and become happy. The hopes clear, the doubts disappear .... but one look at the portrait and you are back .... only to witness how much darker it can get. Your temptation to follow your ultimate hope, acting as inertia against an alternate path!

So I choose not to ..... to avert its perpetuity. Its brilliance still stays in my mind, memories! huh!, I should overcome the inertia someday when they are washed ... not with alcohol but time.

Rusty Thoughts.

What can be my answer to the feeling of insignificance that my conscience has endowed me with? The feeling of being shepherded inspite of my attempts to break free. Even at the peaks of my fervor I find myself struggling for mere survival. And if the survival were taken care of, would I fare better in the quest to make a difference? What kind of difference I would I like to make? Get rich! Fathom an invention! Ride for adventures!

Time seems passing by and my energy seems sapped as if I am recupertaing! recuperating from what? Or do I anticipate a doom lurking? There are needs, responsibilities to fulifil apart from the ambitions. Distractions! yet cardinal to survival. Not all of them ofcorse, but ....... Where is my will to act! Have I lost my inspiration or has my will rusted.

Distractions yes, probably them ... an easy escape route. Is this what is called mid-life crisis?

Matching Thoughts - The match profiles

"Sweet girl looking for sweet guy" - dun go looking fr too sweet a guy ... he will leave u for another guy.

"Nice girl looking for Mr Right" - Well there are Mr Right in everyones town, somehow they are always with Mrs Right.

"Still searching for my fairy tale" - quit that booze and start sleeping in night u might find one in dreams

"Nice girl looking for a nice guy" - I wonder where all the nice guys are lookin!

"Beautiful gal looking for an honest man" (a fat - ugly gal as per the picture)- All you need is to ask the guy if u look fat and ugly.

Golden Thoughts

The golden ages, they pass and set standards so high that enjoying life becomes such a gargantuan!I hate them.

Dreamy Thoughts

Healthy bank balance is like a soft bed, one can sleep on it and follow one's dreams comfortably

Blaming thoughts!

If I am evil, am I not god's creation? If I am than you have to admit he did make a mistake in creating me .... or letting me choose my life?

Passionate Thoughts - Wantonly Natural

Have you ever noticed anyone saying "Passion is overrated"? I recently heard this sentence in a movie. To me it just sounds like 2 words "sour grapes". And hear me please for when I say 'passion' I refer not to obsessive eating or crazy video-gaming or 24x7 beating on drums to be musician. I refer here to passion in a relationship... I am talking about two people desiring each other so much that they cannot take their hands off each other. Is it ok to go on with life without ever having that kind of passion for anyone .. i correct myself.... "with" anyone. "With" ....since a single sided passion tantamounts to either fabulous grief or obsessive psychosis.

Can trust, humor and emotional connection ever fill the void... the void of not having that passionate relationship ever! Wouldnt it be huge loss not to experience the basest instincts with someone and to have them returned the same way... even for a short period of time? Wouldnt it be an exquisite experience to be with someone without necessary decorum, without pressured conduct .... just basic instinct ..... pure natural desire. Isnt everyone entitled to such experience ? I do not ask for perennial passion (although it sounds ideally fantastic) all I refer to is for one relationship with so much desire that one never feels missed out on this experience of life.

A(or a few) passionate relationship is like a tribute to youth. Its longevity a grand welcome to middle age. Its survival to old age is just a gift. It is however a pity that sometimes this gift is realized so late and is often underutilized. An underutilized gift is like a telescope which is used not to see stars and beyond ...but to see the hot girl/guy across street (or wait ... may be vise-versa! ;) )

But then again some people are so far from passion ....so cold with decorum .. that they do not realize the importance of this experience. For their happiness I hope they never do. Since a late realization is like a deadly slow poison injested .... willfully. However, I do feel they miss out ...big time... on a great experience, a pleasure and experience which is natural.... as natural as life and probably more pleasurable (and yet why is it frowned upon!)

Its amazing to see how humans have shown hatred for most of their natural desires and yet they have progressed (or have they!). Sex is considered wanton yet they multiply, greed is considered basal ..yet they have progressed with desire for more, sexual thoughts are considered vile and yet pornography is the singlemost biggest industry ever! The humans are confused, because of what they have been taught. The decorums/rules were probably made not to make humans forget or hate their natural instincts but to enable them to control the wild behaviorisms those can lead to. It ofcorse started as a valiant effort .... a presumably wise idea .... but now it seems to have grown out of proportion. It has lead not to enrich their experience but to confuse human beings... a side-effect ...which I deem worse than plague. The by-product ....A confused moron.. who creates atomic energy for fuel needs .... considers sex as unholy and wipes whole city/country just at a whim.

What trick plays oh mind!
passion is such critical find
But thou frownest upon the score
oh human! why thee hailest in blind

Why is it that what I have been taught, what is believed, is so opposite to what I feel .. what seems natural!

Relegious Thoughts

some people wonder what I have against god -- I think its just my soul

Humane Thhoughts

He sold his soul to god - god rejected, he sold his soul to devil - devil rejected. He finally achieved humanity.

Helping thoughts

But what can help someone who revel in their misery?

Hasty Thoughts - The ambition

There is so much to see,
such wonders to learn,
experiences to take
brain-cells to burn
mortality to deceive
super-hums to churn
uniqueness to achieve
before its my turn

Famous Thoughts - The formula

You are known not by the mountains you have climbed but by the falls you have endured.

Wife of ...
Husband of ....
Alumni of ....
Ex of ....
Employee of ....
Pet of ....


;)

SaintAL Thoughts

If one is thought of as a "Saint", its just an inadvertent complement to one's ability of not getting caught!

Envious Thoughts - The fall

I often am unfazed when grass is greener on the other side, I just happen to enjoy the fall colors on my side so much.

Driving Thoughts - Warriors Within

There is no point trying to divert the challenges you obviously cannot evade. Mostly its not ours to choose the challenges we face, but the mode of battle.

If I win, I feel the Victory's thrill, if I loose I bask in the thrill of battle. No matter what.. I end up better prepared for the next one - thats life.

Always smile through the easy challenges. A foe/challenge who can make you frown is a worthy one. Worhty foes make life exciting... too many of them obviate weakness.

Art thou not a warrior within? Alas! thou hast yet not enliven.

Praying Thoughts - Happy Life

In Vatican they pray to God for happy life .... in Italy they pray to Mafia.

Tributal thoughts

My wishes to the lost love ....................

Open your window and see the past say
The beautiful promise the passion beyond way

Memories ... Memories ..share if I may
October ... I saw her ..the beautiful day
November "the teacher" was my play
January I asked her if I may
May it wasnt me or her but US ..that didnt stay

Open your window and see the past say
The beautiful promise the passion beyond way

The love of joy .. the days full of hay
The Wild fervor, the Raw appeal of clay
The will to battle and together to stay
It was so wonderful .. so hey!

Open your window and see the past say
The beautiful promise the passion beyond way

You made it wonderful, no matter what i say
You made me click in the best way
I so wish I provided the same way
I had my doubts but Oh! you'r beautiful in such way

Open your window and see the future's Ray
The life together and dreams bright as day

We are now together still so away
For long I had waited for this day
Happiness for you all the way
to be with you on THIS special day

Open your window and see the future's Ray
The life together and dreams bright as day

I wish you all happiness that dream you may
I wish in all of it I have a part to play
I wish forever with me you stayI wish forever
I have the right to hear you say(But I still wish in all this I have my way ;))

Open your window and see the future's Ray
The life together and dreams bright as day

I write this for there is no better way
A sentimental Wish to make heart sway
Oh! winner o'my heart, its all I gotta say
Happy ... Happy .. Happy Birthday

Snoring Thoughts - The innocent evil

Isnt there some place in the world where snoring is illegal?? Well if I were a Roman king, I certainly would have made snoring illegal. How can one deal with a monster like that!!

Snoring - its the first time I have faced this harmless looking pain. The other night my NEW roomate made me realize that apart other question for roommate selection you gotta ask this "How loud do you snore". I swear this guy snored so loud it felt he is out to kill someone .... or well get murdered may be!

I just cant believe how can a person not wake up to his or snoring ..especially when so loud that whole neighbourhood comes and complains against you using your vaccum cleaner at night. What! does he have a filter or something in his ears? The worst part if they hear other loud noise they fuckin try to out-snore it!!

I put ear-plug in my ears with full volume music and I figured finally I nailed the bastard. And i am just getting in the zone .... and there it is ....KHHHHHHHHDDDDDDDDDRRRRRRRRAAAAAARrrrrrrrrDDDDDDDrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ....... and it comes from over the music!! Tell you what.. Coldplay doesnt sound so good with Godzilla screaming at their back.

A friend of mine once told me that sometimes wives leave husbands because of snoring problem. I didnt agree with him then .... (ah! werent those good times!). See here is another reason couple oughtta sleep together before getting married - Snores!. Yeah! you Mr/Miss "I am in love" there ... you may think now "this is bull ...." but let me tell you what ... so did many of'em ..so wait till you get those sleepless nights not over love but her/his SNORES! (I am trying to be gender-impartial here but tell you what .. I cant believe cute gals snore!) Anyways I can move out of the room ..what options do you have after you are married to the SNORAZILLA here?

I still do not approve of the wives who leaves there husbands because of snoring!! Such Selfish attitude! Ladies ... Ladies you oughtta think about us poor souls who get them as roommates! Why dun you just "bound and gag them" and rid us all of such travesty.

Anyways i have learnt my lesson, my next roommate add would be like:

Needed Roommate:
Male or Female ( Female who snores preferred)

Male: Must have good job and must be at job most of the time
Female: Must be hot and be good at being one

Male: Must not snore
Female: Must make up to me if SNORES.

;) Cheers to the brainwave from sleep deprivation !

Social Thoughts - the individual demise

When I die and We arise
A Nation/A Corporate is the prize
Individuality is the price
How is this considered wise?

Survival Thoughts - primal

The best alternative to a happy life is a rich and secure one. It may not be satisfying to oneself but it sure is a source of envy for others.

Righteous Thoughts

The righteousness lasts as long as it is judged as such. For when the judges decide not to consider it, one's actions arent termed righteous.

So would you still persist in what you consider righteous or desist and work towards being perceived as one?

Medicinal Thoughts - The Lost Answers

Ever heard of the father of medicine? ...yeah I just found out about him ... Hyppocrates, was the 'Father of Medicine'. Doesnt leave you with a lot of confidence in doctors does it!

As a kid I used to get shocked seeing a doctor smoke. Arent they supposed to to advice "not to smoke". I always wondered "how did this guy manage to skip this basic chapter .. you know about smoking being 'injutious to health'! ". Well the explanation now comes to me ....he didnt misse the chapter ..its just in the 'genez' to be a hyppocrate.

Well medical field is doing a lot of wonders for sure, the other day Hulk Hogan said he has got a 20 year old wife along with an artificial hip & knee .... It just figures, the broad must have an artificial brain! ..wait since love is involved ... artificial heart! .... ah well .... atleast one of them is artificial for sure.

Yeah! I know ..I know its spelled hypocrite not hyppocrate ... so sue me!

Happy Thoughts - The story

happiness is usually the start of a story ... if it is found in the end ... more often than not its fiction.

Challenging Thoughts - Trivial defined

Some challenges, although tempting, are just not worth the time and effort - trivial.

Purposeful Thoughts - the want, the comparison, the happiness

Have we not heard a lot of people saying "I wish I had everything I ever wanted". Are we sure that we will be happy once that is granted? Are we sure our wishes are not contradictory in themselves so as it makes them difficult to be granted ...its a different topic anyways .. but food for thought. Coming back to ... yeah the want vs the happiness.

People keep implying so heartily ... "If I had everything I ever wanted.. i would be happy" would you ? would I? would we? The thing is we would never have everything we ever wanted .... not because it is not granted to us or because we didnt work for it. Suppose we are granted everything we ever wanted ... what would we do.. take it and be happy? no we will simply start wanting more ..more money ...more comforts ...more emotional support ... success ...success like someone and then a bit more ...more money than that guy .. less problems than this one... less money (some people are crazy!! :d ).... more friends and what not. This is human nature ... believe it.

Happiness cannot be measured in wants/comparison, because they seldom end. If you expect happiness to be present at the end of your wants/comparisons, you are waiting at an infinite path.

Being happy is the real challenge and the ultimate goal.. isnt it? The path differs for everyone as do their psyche and hence their purpose. Only its strangely ridiculous that even the most reasonable people choose the paths of wants/comparisons to try to find happiness. "he he! I get more money than him ... he he! I have more buiscits than him .... Aw! she has a better dress than me ...Ulldlll! I have better boobs .." ...makes you happy/sad? makes me think you are pathetic, self-concious ... fool.

I cannot claim to know the correct path .. there isnt probably a single path ...or there could be .. i dunno ... But all I claim to know here is one of the hundreds of the incorrect ways to achieve happiness - wants/comparisons.

If you are the type who loves challenges, here is a challenge - be happy.

Loosing Thoughts

The more you loose the more you you try to hold on to whats left.

Happy Thoughts - Decisions

Always be happy, its the only way we can explicate any decisions that we have ever made.

Soul Searching Thoughts - Bamboozled

What if i meditated and reached my soul. I am afraid of that man! 'What if i go there expecting a white little good looking me and find a dark bad looking monster (something like i look when i get out of bed).

I often wonder what my "dark soul" ... would look like. What if my soul is like "Osama or saddam", u know .. i reach there to be one with them and there they are "Good u are here ...I was waiting for you ...bloody athiest! and "thhew thhew " -> i am dead! "My soul would say Jai Jihad and sets itself free!".

Imagine my surprise when my soul says "ahh there u are u fool, u finally came to me and came the wrong way!!" i am a dark soul i can only help u "discover urself" , I can only be one with u ...if u come the right way .. the easy way .. the evil way :).

What a googly that will be!!! i will be like "WHOA!" wait a min i did all that breathe in deep and breathe out slow crap for 10 long years just to find it was a wrong way!

Imagine me getting all flusterd and stuff and saying irritatingly " i dun need no discovery man ..... i have been discovering myself infront of the bathroom mirror whole life and i am just fine with that thank you".

Ever seen your soul catching ur bluff? ..... so wht the f*** are u doing here ..wht the f*** were u doin breathin so slowly all these years it almost suffocated me in here?? did u just took a stroll for pleasure? or did u come all this way just to say .. i dun need to discover myself and if u dint .. wht the hell were u taking all tht meditation lessons for! and now just get lost ... dun piss me off or if i leave u will hang in here for eternity ... for there would be no physical form to go back to!!

i would be so embarassed ... i wont be pressing harassment charges i know tht much. I dunno what would be more humiliating
- Bring bullied by my own soul
- Wasting my time/money on meditation the wrong way to reach my soul
- Or knowing tht I am a bigger a**hole inside than i am on outside!

Levelling Thoughts - The Fall in/of/for Love

Isnt it amazing this phrase "Fall/fell in love with". What elation does it not bring in various people. Yet this phrase is used with so many others like "I dont love someone else", "Take the relationship to next level", "I am in love with two different ...", "I fell in love all over again".

These gives a peculiar mental picture of love. As if it were like a hole or a pit where you fall. (For sometime I considered the analogy of the mouth of a monster where it is gulping u ... but this analogy didnt fit that well).

Imagine love-land with a hole in the name of every human (If you prefer you can extend this to other living beings ...but i consider it sick ... or...well sicker than love atleast). Now here is what you happens when one falls in love - he basically takes a plunge into the the person's hole with whom he/she has falln in love with. Here is the interesting part. Things basically depend on which level and pit you fall into.

- "I was so in love, but after 3 months I realized that it wont work out" - You fell to a level where you could just jump right out
- "It went for so long ... but we were bored ... it just didnt click anymore" - You crawled slowly out of the deeper level of the love pit
- You fall in but cannot get out, you feel suffocated , you wanna get out - "a hole with slippery walls" - you got married !! you idiot you applied that slippery grease yourself on those walls.
Some time you may fall to the level where you become jealous/possessive/protective. you are ejected out as son as you are discovered at this level. Which pit doesnt appreciate some extra people falling into it?

The pit theory explicates the dangers of Falling in love with two people at the same time, well wouldnt that hurt if u have one feet in this pit and other in the that. depending on the distance of these pits - u will end up with a wedgie or torn (if two far).

The pit where society/ people make you fall - 'arranged marriage' - its like .. we know you havent fallen with love with this person yet .. just marry ( we will give you a push) sooner or later with the slippery walls you will get deeper into the pit (read "fall in love")

Divorce/break-ups are the escape routes(light at the end of the tunnel/pit or The monstor's back side). You come out but bruised/tired because of thefall/ the failure to hang on. However, with the expression - well the ride was worth it! (how come u not be glad its over!)

Dream-induced Thoughts - A walk through hell

Ever dreamt of heaven?I have seen people dreaming abt a walk in park .. a walk along the shopping mall ... a walk on the sea.... but it was just one of those days ... when I was subconciously being confused between reality and perception .. I happned to dream about walking in Hell.

The first thing that struck me was- why is hell always believed to be HOT and fiery (reminds me of something else ...ummm .. cant remember)?? The one who conceptualized Hell first .. must be really into cold drinks. I mean as much torture as hot can do, cold can certainly inflict fatal damage too. Ever imagine a man with a frozen ..... well u get the idea.

I could see three kinds of people in there - the pusher, the punisher and US (as in we .. not the country!)!

The pusher is the person who has that Trident in the hand. The guy who pokes the sinners into the steam bath ... uh i mean ... the boiling water. My curiosity suddenly took the best of me -"Hey dude where did u get to apply for this job? What is the "sin-set"/(s)experience required for this? Did you ever have a steam bath like the others?". He didnt seem very pleased with my questions - had probably heard of outsourcing.

The punisher is the one who is either slashing, whipping, dragging the US and US are 'the people' who actually 'did something' in their previous hell .. i mean..life.

I happened to meet one of my friends being dragged in the HEAT like a dog with a spiked collar (that must really hurt his devilish soul!). I found out that he is in for just ONE sin he ever committed - he called ME a bad name. I mean common man all he ever did was be normal once and volla his lifetime of 'good' deeds are screwed (and they say to forgive is divine! ..I wonder what happened to devine? .. keep reading). I begged his torturer to let him leave ... I forgive him (I felt divine!) .... let him go to heaven ... and my friend yells - "Hey how dare U? ..I am a Jew ... I dun believe in Heaven!!.

I saw a Christian priest being tortured out of his mind - he had a stripper dancing infront of him with he wearing iron underpants ... 1.5 times his size ... with one end connected to burning fire. Yes, they made sure his eyes were open. I was looking surprised .. when he answered ... "turns out He was a human after all ... I wish I had taken Dan Brown seriously!" (I was like ... whatever ... thats not the question in my mind ... i was wondering what all good did the stripper do to get off with so easy punishment! .. it actually looked like a rewaard what she was doing ;)

On the other side was a Hindu pandit.. being burnt to hell ... he followed suit with my gaze .." There were so many of them I didnt know whom to worship and whom not to .... I think I worshipped the wrong ones" ... worship! .... sure ...thats the kind of lie which got you here the first place.

Then there was this guy who was tortured one side with a Trident , other side by a ..a dragon! The guy says ...donth lok so stoomped ... I changd my relizon. Ahh so one God wasnt good enough for you? It wasn litthat he said .. the otha jus pad mo' mony and gween ca'd. Well that explained it .. (what a waste of such a magnificient creature as a dragon ... Hollywood directors are relying on graphics to achieve this)

I passed by a group of people restricted in a pool of boiling ... it felt .. i dunno ... it surely was the fundamental source of Hydrogen and Sulpher on earth! but these looked astonishingly at home! Every now and then one or few of them will escape form the pool and break everything in sight till they are captured back and look up to find something. Wait .. before any one could speak .... lemme guess (this ones easy!)... Jihadis looking up to find open heaven doors after destruction .... (I sure hope there is no providion of recycling these souls)

In the end I reached a chamber with name plate GOD! My questions were easily answered when I saw the fine print - The heaven was empty ... I was bored ... besides ... I did create humans.

Fettered Thoughts

What art thou if not the slave of thy needs and not thus the slave of thy desires.

Promising Thoughts

Dont make the promises you obviously cant keep, forever is too long ... time changes all whether shallow or deep

Trusting thoughts - The help, The Pity, The Cost

Is it true that people sometimes go out of their way to help someone without wanting anything in return? Is it just that they do this for pity, love and goodwill. Doesnt the helped end up paying a big cost for this -> his trust. Isnt this always the ulterior motive for helping someone ... hmm i should gain his trust. There is so much u make a person do once you have his trust, so much before he realizes you werent trustworthy at all. There is no limit to the harm that can be done to a person once...... his defences are down ... isnt gaining trust another way of achieving low defences?

Sarting to trust someone is a big price to pay for small help they did no matter how out of the way they went for it. Still its nature to bring such people in the circle of trust. Once you realize that anyone u trust is capable of harming you infinite times more than others, you find it hard to bring anyone into the circle of trust. The ones you do bring into the circle, you wait for them to realize how privileged they are, how much hold they have on you, ones they do -> you burn.

Its not easy to overcome the desire to have a trusted few, especially those who obviously have helped you when u needed most, but before trusting them blindly should we not remember this "people change, what if they got bored of you and wanna get rid of you -> once a mind is convinced it doesnt need someone there is no end to what lengths it might go to do it". I am not saying u will end up murdered, I am just saying u will end up wounded, pained and hurt beyond physical injuries .... with scars that only time can heal ... if u have enough... time.

I dunno what reason is anymore ... what logic is ... to trust or not to trust ... but it makes sense to try to minimize the damage by playing wait and watch before putting ur blind faith into someone who might change out of circumstances, boredome or just by nature. Take your time to let someone in but never put your defence down to anyone.

Hmmm one thing about taking help .... dont take it if u can help it .... if u need help take it without giving the most important thing away -> ur trust.

-----trust me on this ;)

The grey thoughts

black or white troubles me not, its the multitude of vast grey areas which haunt me.

Deciding Thoughts - Making choices

dont we become the man (oh! er ...or woman) of our choices? Choices always intrigue me, because they are our responsibility but depend on plenty. The choices I would have made in past without blinking, I would hesitate to make them today, even with the promise it will turn out as expected. Because you see choices like everything else change and corrupt.

But we always do have a choice .. dont we? Havent our teachers, advisors, leaders, cultivators provided us the sufficient insight to making a choice. Isnt the choice made based on these insights already made even before we get it? Or are these insights ambiguous still to let us make the better of the two unsure choices? Arent our choices guided not by the independent thought but by the popular view.

So if choices are made based on what is taught and what has been perceived as right or wrong from surroundings, nature and society. Isnt our choice always biased towards the popular norms or against it? Towards or against we are still guided by the same principles.

So do these principals define our choices or do our choices define the principles we follow?

I just wish I can sleep right now, a simple choice coming from no guidance - no dubious ethics, no complications .... just basic instinct ......z z z z z z z z z z z z z

Amalgamatic Thoughts - The Invitation

Welcome to my OASIS. The bliss where I breathe not, the smell of the flowers present, which obviously is cherished by all. The bed of ambrosia which quenches not my thirst but only them for it is short lived and yet so important. Burn thy greens for fire, merry and warmth for I will see them regrown to life ready for more. Thou oughtest to confine me here so that I can live with the perenniel hope - to feel the visage of perfection. Like before it was touched into being my absolute and yet the provider for all but me. Be my guest to my amalgamation to my self-proclaimed wanton destiny and witness my happiness for everything that has been done and my equal love for all.

Looking forward to perennial boredome and thy happiness....

Fighting thoughts - The real master

"To keep gaining hights and to sail smooth at heights obtained, requires some effort.... but the person who masters gaining after every fall he endures is the true master of his will"

Lost Thoughts

The next best thing after "being the winner" is - not to let the winner enjoy the satisfaction of victory

Perfect Thoughts - the predictability

Perfection often bores quickly, the prospect bores with gain of perfection

Weak Thoughts - necesary love

Why does such a normal lifestyle become a necessity? What transpires between the freedom loving self to one addicted to a loved other. Addiction of any kind, compulsion of any nature, necessity by default results from and into weakness of one kind or of other.

Its usual for anyone to go through patch of weakness, any dose of support, any dint of sympathy, any gesture of pity ... seems life-sustaining. These slowly transpire into love especially when mutual - its two way. Its very difficult to get out of addiction if the resource which satisfies it is readily available. The illusions of immense strngth, the hallucinations of fighting the world/society, the dillusions of self - proclaimed warrior, the sights of ever lasting bliss which follow are a few symptoms. The weaker u get, the neccessary it becomes and the necessary it gets, the weaker you become - the vicious circle. The effects are similar like when taken off addiction - depression, mood, cramps (head/stomach/inside), destruction - self and surround, suicide (seriously!).

Your need for something defines your weakness for/from it. Some weaknesses are forgettable, some default, most deadly.

Murderous Thoughts - cliché

Yes, murdering thoughts, how? when? whom?

Nah, I am not deciding to murder a girl, do not get a wrong impression. As usual there is a question in my mind and trying to answer it? What makes u perfect for getting murdered without anyone noticing u being dead, or even of you are noticed - "Its a suicide" they should call it, without investigations.
(This might help murderers decide their victims, but wont help them design the murder. Anyways, I do not intend this as a tutorial, just an observation so anyone taking hints from this is responsible for his /her own decisions.)

1. Alcoholic
2. Loner and bad behaved
3. Non - moral activities
4. Depressed
5. Mentally Ill

The point is just because these people have already been diagnosed as having these problems, doesnt mean that if you find their bodies with or without a suicide note, you report it saying "Allegedly commied suicide, a suicide note was (or not) found, was a known alcoholic/depressed/non-moral/mentally ill etc". The last bit of sentence gives the tinge that, ok the person was going to kill himself/herself one day anyways! and this seems to be it. The note is to put in the readers mind, she was probably a menace to society, its all right. To the police, if it looks like a suicide, it is most probably one, forget it there are plenty of cases to work on.

Ethically it seems wrong, practically it happens. Right or wrong, i dunno and wont comment. What i am driving to is - those who seem to have these symptoms can be murdered and it can be made to look as if it were a suicide. To add to that people readily buy it. It helps them turn away from the fact that there is someone evil lurking, help them marvel at the wonderful GOD made world - sick!

Comparing Thoughts

the past the maze
the love the chase
the touch the face
the freedom the case
the agony the race

the future the grace
the love the phase
the touch the gaze
the freedom the craze
the agony the haze

Judging Thoughts

Those who judge me as a part of whole, dont make a difference to either to me or the whole as such - they are just trying to feel important by passing their judgement.

As long as you are different you are you and can call yourself an I rather than we.

Uniqueness doesnt justify destruction, and evil doesnt negate greatness.

Mistaken Thoughts

Have you ever heard this before? Everyone makes mistakes .... The truth about this statement is uncontestable, yet the intention of the statement is pathetic by implication. There is a hint in this which makes it acceptable to make mistakes even blunders - even the intentional ones. It makes it acceptable to let it go .... The mistakes ... where we knew we were going wrong, the ones temptaion made us perform, the ones which we could have controlled but didnt. There are ones who give this reason, everyday, overlooking their mistakes, repeating them, making even bigger ones.


The biggest mistake u can ever make is to convince yourself that everyone makes mistakes, and you are no different.

Indifferent Thoughts

Between love and hate comes indifference, and thats the best weapon and best revenge

Honest Thoughts

Hate and revenge are the only honest feelings, the feelings with least confusion and most life.

Wounded thoughts - battles within

Just because you are a warrior, doesnt mean u create wars to fight them. Just because you can fight doesnt licence you the right to start one.

While we are at it , if you are in a war and you can cheat and win - go ahead and win.

Defined thoughts - Protection explained

Was I reallly being protective of you? Jealous I have been attributed, flattery as I take it, but still I dont think I was being protective of you. You cant protect a person - its physical presence, the body - unless by implication ...... of protection of something inside. Soul? may be .... lets c.

I was over protective, sure, but of what, something- something inside of you something noone cared but I did, something noone saw but I did and appreciated, something you posessed in amounts so large, in qualities so original, in reality so attractive, in essence so pure - Your innocence. People do not regard this quality beyond ordinary, neither did i (nor do u), but I felt it, in the middle of everything /everyone, I felt it.

For me your innocence consisted you. Your simplicity defined you. I knew you not through what you looked like, where you came from, what you were, I knew you through your innocence. I loved you for it - your innocence. The simple word so definitely heard of, yet so vaguely found, so rare and yet considered so ordinary. You were so innocent that you werent even aware of your own beauty, not until later when you realized it and lost the reason behind it.

I protected you from world, from society, to check the outflow. I failed, miserable you see, I was powerless due to various socio-economic constraints, powerless due to lack of such knowledge - the purpose of protection.

It happened infront of me, I was tripped of my only hope and ambition. My love was stripped of its innocence, its soul (or what was apparent to me of its soul) with the knowledge of its ovehelming beauty.

My love wasnt unconditional, I am selfish, I want to feel something, I can sense back, this is in regard to high respect I hold for my feelings - I invest them frugally. I failed, and all I was left feeling was a vaccum, a hollow projection of the same figure as my love took. The vaccum figuratively so similar to what my love stood for, that it sucked even my last happiness before it dawned on me - I am being conned. I was suddenly trying to find love from from a shadow so vividly similar, still so ghastly contrast, so amazingly close to coldness of death and warmth of fire.

I lost my extraordinary gift and you yours - both failed, but tried and thats what I cherish, our battle together.

Extraordinary Thoughts - Define me

The mind wandered into considering the extraordinary. What is extraordinary? Where is extraordinary? In todays context, haven't all social exaltations or degradations become ordinary, common, daily visible. Havent the simple things become awkwardly rare? Aren't rare supposed to be extraordinary? Can something every other day happening - some murder, some blast, some success, some breakup, some prodidgy, some drug-addict, some destruction, some guru, some theif, some terrorist, some war and some motion against it, be deemed extraordinary? When things go global, things which are perceived as extraordinary go commonly boring - alternatively but surely present - hence ordinary.

Wounded Thoughts

I live a life of an ordinary soldier. I am always wounded, I fight for something I may never live to see. But I still have a purpose in my life, to fight well and win! I live with a purpose and I will die with one. I am happy for atleast I know my purpose.

Inner Thoughts

man is scared of inexplicable .... if I want to scare ..what else would i do but to become one myself?

Loving Thoughts

But what can make you more incapable of love than not to hate anything in the world?

Weak Thoughts - Exalting

There is no bigger exaltation of self as the self pity ... and yet it is so naively the admittance of weakness

Entangled Thoughts - One suggestion

Whatever you do ... making an ambition related to alive .. will bring pain and suffering ... for alive aint always strong ... for strong aint always alive ... for alive aint always same.

Entangled Thoughts - One reason

The answer lies in the weakness of men, the doubt on decisions, the presence of choice, the stare of world, the words of the society .... the moronic idea of success and the need for experimentation. How can we decide that our choice of profession is the best. How do we know our choice of the partner is the best. There is so much more ... so many more ... might get better ... oooooh .. the possibilities if there is someone better, better than what we thought perfect!!. Who decides we are successful? The change is brought about by the inner weakness .. the doubt on out decisions!

Choices like "breathing" are already made for us, thats not our decision, thats accepted by society. (I wouldnt have had any surprises that if there was a choice in the gas we can breathe, the people breathing oxygen would be looking down upon the people breathing carbondi). Anyways the choice which are not made for us by default, require some design of thought, some level of self awareness, some strength of tought. Still, only a few people can be really sure of their decisions. Only a few people can give up big things .. because they are not a part of the design they have chosen. And they dont need to make even an effort to let these things go .. they let them go naturally. But most .. the unsteady .. doubt their decisions. They need change .. they demand change .. they are ever ensure of their decisions. They dont build wht they shud be .. they build of themselves wht society calls "My boy". Are they ever themselves?

Entangled thoughts - Open to change

why do things start to bore. Why does something which was so attractive, so beautiful, so lovable .. begin to look "routine". Everything starts falling under routine .. love .. work ... relationship. ... food ... everything. Something is not right here .. something on principle or something inside. Passionate people dont loose their way .. bec of boredom of routine. They dont need a break ..to refresh themselves. No they might need a break to think, think about their passion, to think about the next step ... but they cant consider their passion as routine ..can they! But they are usually absent .. absent from thought, body, persona and feelings from the whole world. They get into the world to see, learn and think about their work . They join the world for some moments to think, the world dwelled by the incompetent weaklings, the thoughtless morons, the ambitionless gits, the philanderers of social life. Yes they do get back to the world, to use them, as inspiration, as profit, as the reason why not to remain, as the reason to see the simplicity of their primises.

Ahh but the ever baffling , ever present, ever known .. and ever-dreaded phenomenon of change. I have never quite understood the need for change from the most important things in life. I have never seen anyone saying ... I am bored of breathin oxygen ..why dont I .... THAT "breathing" is a routine, but yet we cannot bring ourselves to change. What and I repeat what is the reason we want change? If I want something as much as I want my breath (a great romantic line people often babble) why would i want a change? And still this reasoning never occurs to us and we go for change and come back refreshed! But given this reasoning wht makes us want change? Why we go for change?

Correcting Thoughts

How much correction can undo the initial harm?

Lost thoughts

The aims obtained easy ... loose their importance .. The ambitions obtained with great difficulty ...loose their purspose ..... The targets un-obtainable ... loose nothing .... they remain the ones most desired ... and yet this arrangement sounds so profoundly un-acceptable!

Extreme Thoghts

The people who believe in or deal with extremities only ... are never actually living.

Betraying Thoughts

Dont let your eyes betray your thoughts .... Dont let your heart betray your sense

Wandering Thoughts

If you are trying to live your whole life by just making a few choices ..what a waste of the world! where plethora of options are available.

Its your life, you make choices. If some dun work no more ... dont fret .. make more.

Natural thoughts - The boring good and attractive evil

Isn’t the feeling of good, feeling of well being .. so boring? still … why men want to become good? want others to become good and well mannered? then when the others change and become good and well mannered they are branded as "predictable" and "boring". Some label them as too nice to be fun. Others call "there is no spice". So why look for good or convert to good when all we are looking for is some ‘fun’ which is obtainable from "BAD".

Bad is attractive, bad is motivation, its like there is an inner reformist ready to be unleashed within us which makes us try to change someone, just when we know someone is good at heart - just mislead into wrong! so we take upon ourselves to set it right. Once we set it right they are marked as "figured out" and we need more space from them and new places/ people/ faces to reform. But are we really attracted towards bad just because of the reformist inside us or is there more (are we naturally attracted towards evil)?

I wonder why evil is so good at spreading itself and how come "The good" is not so popular anymore. I dun see many good people around no matter what they proclaim themselves to be. The God seems to be either busy with some other important work or its just that He has lost the touch. I am sure to devil it doesnt matter whether u write "devil" with a capital d or a small one, it has of course more important things to do. I dun know why God would busy himself with such trivial things (so I dare not write God as god ...ooooooh save me!)!

To resist evil is not that easy, the evil is so stylish. It lets itself in, in easier ways than the Hollywood/bollywood or other movie makers can think of (whats with the big horns and ugly shapes, dirty wounds!! Sexy vampires are more like it!). Thats the beauty of it. You never know when it has struck you. You still proclaim yourself as a good, righteous man who hates evil, but something changes. Evil doesnt care if you "hail" it or not, that’s just too trivial for it like someone praying and asking for glorification from it. No it doesn’t. Its weapon is stealth. It just comes (and fixes itself into the system) from the best and most respected of us. It doesn’t want the popularity like God as such, it just focuses on spreading itself amongst us. Then whether we keep worshipping God it doesn’t matter, if its the evil that possess you, then it doesn’t matter if u hail "God", its the evil you do! And that’s what matters. For so many years we have witnessed official massacres in the name of religion, region, caste, race etc even by the best proclaimers of so called "good". The examples abound. Its seeps into the smallest and sweetest of forms in our livelihood, like the phenomenon of heartbreakers.

Why do people not recognize it? Why do girls not agree with it? The phenomenon of heartbreakers. They pledge their loyalty to one. Like i heard once them claiming " a girl loves only once in her life" and (the fine print!).........with the rest of them she just flirts ... with them the "barking dogs". Initially they wear and dress for only one, later the adoration of the one is not enough, more is required. They wear all kinds of revealing clothes to be ‘ogled’ by others. They flirt with people around them, they love the prospect of being wanted by so many around. One for use (or misuse) and others for fun (and possible contenders to be used later). They love to be the heart breakers.

They find that the loss of innocence is required to gain attention, to find an identity which every one desires in reality or their fantasy. This they call as mature behavior. At the start of a relationship they reckon you are pathetic if u dare not stand by them "How can you just stand there watching him ogle at me!" later they claim "dogs bark! u cannot go and chase every dogs that bark around me". Why sudden change? How can one be so thick as not to realize that dogs don’t bark at all those around them! .. why cant the guy see no bitches barking on (or rather for) him! It gives them an identity, a perverse sensation ....being barked at....does. A feeling they love to have but rather not admit! The touch of evil, a amorous sensation which becomes more important than simple ... always adoring … changed to good (gentleman) .. boring partner. They don’t want to accept that though righteous they claimed to be, their inner obscurely perverse feeling pushes them to be ogled at, to be wanted. Its like a great complement, an unexplainable thrill they need to maintain their identity.

It goes in so smoothly, taking full advantage of your weakness, your need to be felt special, your need of an identity (appreciable). The greatness of evil is the weapon of stealth. It comes in so naturally that its hard to determine, once we recognize it, its hard to part with. The good is sweet, the good is appreciated … but I wonder who can live in life without a bit of spice .. u know what I mean? That’s right!

Irking thoughts - jealous guardian no more

why is it so difficult to move on and leave
why does it require such a big heave
how important was the loss anyway
give it up and find a happy way

but still it troubles me
how could one leave, how could thee
for thee i was the one, and for I, she
now drowned i am in memories like sea

the mind needs to find a new passion
replace the past thoughts and feed on new ration
love career hobby travel or a new radian
to be jealous for it and to be its guardian

Poetic Thoughts - Unrequired Peace of Mind

I wish trees and stones could remember and hear
I would go and request them
to repeat what we said when we were near
us making promises, me and my dear

promises which at time were very clear
no immaturity or infatuation, but love we used to swear
it was nothing after all, but words mere
but one of us believed them & felt the spear

I wish I could go back and appear
show myself in past, its a waste of time, sheer
just another infatuation is this affair
with time and altercation, it would disappear

I want to warn my past of
the "realization" of my bigest fear
the incidents which would leave me
without love or feelings, with pain and yet no tear

these thoughts & memories, comeback loud and clear
the fiasco couldnt be forseen even by a seer
I often get caught up in these stupid emotions
when something to peace my mind is near.

I dont want peace of mind right now .. or ever .. just ever lasting mental engagement.

Innocent thoughts - Million dollar question

If I am granted a wish
and promised that I wont fail
what would I choose
my present/past/future or some other tale?

would i choose for happiness
or fame or a kings life
or wouldnt I like to have
with someone the eternal strife

Amending past wont promise
a happy and succesful future
present can hardly be ammended
& what can I do about future's nature

what can be granted
in a way so full
that you dont loose it
& with time it becomes not dull

etrnal hapiness promises
dullness of monotony
fame and richness promise
sickness throughout anatomy

No, the answer needs to be
simple and straight
A wish that will linger life long
that wont bore no matter what the fate

I may wish for something close
perennial innocence in me
the only worth living and
the most attractive quality i found in thee

I know not the correct answer
and neither does anyone, none at all
none stay with you forever
Love, God, happiness, money, fame et al.

Personal Thoughts - Too much to ask

There are two things too much to ask from me or any genuine scorpion - Forgive and Forget. Forget I can't unless I have my brain removed, and forgive i wont for something I cant forget!

Rhyming thoughts - changed!

why do they need to rhyme
this poem and on earth my time
me, a tiny spec wanting to glow
so less time and so much to show

Its always good to give it a fight
when you know you are right
but change, time and life are natures part
they can break anything asunder apart

My values are for me to keep
other's may not run so deep
your feelings are your pain
they want nothing from it but to gain

Its hard to find good people
before they change to whatever
if u meet them, when they were good
the memories are a treat, whereever/whenever

earth is large and life is big
there is more to wonder and meet
just let go the changed and look for more
theres more out there, more flesh and meat

If change is so natural and right
why shud i be not be so bright
who cares wht are values, wrong or right
life is to go ahead, with trick cheating or might

Learn this now or learn it later
no one's good and no one better
no one cares if u win or are a foresaker
so dont be a giver, be a taker
(and u have got maturity in the maker)

There is nothing wrong
to being a quitter
find yourself, your deceptive self
you will become a trend setter

There is more to do and more to meet
flesh and meat to eat and greet
wars to win with force, talent or cheat
fight with these rules and it will be like a treat

so what if i lost some time
so what if i lost 2 or a single dime
so what if I let go what was so dearly mine
so what if this poem doesnt rhyme!

Quitting Thoughts - Peace!

If you are a fighter and you dont realize that the battle is over, you keep fighting, because leaving the field would look like running away. Its very important in life sometimes to realize when the battle is over.

Staying in the field and looking at wounded soldiers can give u neither the satisfaction of victory nor the feeling of loss, only the pain of destruction.

Poetic Thoughts - Dont push me or risk it!

No I dont belong!
that doesnt make me wrong
may be world's not right
And I am right all along

Who cares what they think
but if they push me to my patience's brink
I will put them out of their plight
dont expect me to accept wrong without fight

No I dont follow!
their beliefs seem so hollow
they avoid ignore and forgive the wrong!
And call my thinking shallow?

who cares what they want!
I am no more an impressionalble plant
their attrocities cant change me, no they cant!
If they trouble me, I will fight and change them or die galant

No I usually dont spare!
to wobble them, I just need to stare
But i pity and let them live, and that's just fare
weak dont deserve to die, just because they dont dare

who cares, what they do and what they dont
but change me they wont
for know me they dont
destroy their world and blink I wont

No I dont play!
by what is their the usual way
I still win the game
Any failure, I accept it in my name

Who cares if I am a fail
atleast on hardships, I dint turn pale
dint change and let my weakness prevail
I WILL get up again and again I will set sail

So, No! I dont get pushed
since I have a scorpion's tail
I am strong and I know,
who cares, If I loose that way or prevail.

Dont push me, or I will sting and you wont live to tell the tale

Jealous Thoughts - Revenge

I dun know if I am dead or alive
my love was the only thing on which i could thrive
the pain which was caused by thee
has killed something/someone inside of me

they claim you loved them
before it went amiss
they said they enjoyed your company
your gifts, presents, surprises and kiss

they never knew about me
the was and would be for thee
why that sudden secrecy
convince me and may be i grant you mercy

confused i am, angry and pained
what would you have gained
what to believe and what to not
so many contradictions i have got

conside him dead then, the one who cared
you cant provide security to the one who u loved
i wanna win you back and make you feel
how painfully one dies, when the loved one goes for the kill

Clarifying thoughts - Infatuous

Love is nothing but infatuation, which in some exceptional cases stays lifelong while in most others fizzles away with time.

Missing thoughts

The momentrary happiness derived from the feeling called love, is hardly worth the missing (fond memories!) felt afterwards!

Relinquishing thoughts - Incapable of Love

I wronged you by being possessive
You wornged me by calling it jealousy
We wounded each other and made it successive
Was it actually love or its herecy?

What you dint understand -my intensity
What I dint understand - your innocence
The coldness damaged me for eternity
And refutal lost you your resonance

I now realize the wrong of my ways
And hope you see your wrong move
But you lost the will to mend it anyways
and Rendered me incapable of love.

so, if jealous i wasnt to be,
jealous i have become
innocence cant deal with evil clearly
it would have been clearer around u, once i was done

You speak with ur true friends
and they fall in love with you
You speak to me with such coldness
I wonder everytime if this is where it ends?

what do you expect but jealousy
when i see you in someoneelse's fantacy
you dont tell them to shut up and go away
you claim that you ignore them totally

you still keep these friends around, being innocent
you know not what there jesture and flirting meant
and when i try to show u the truth actually
you attribute it to jealosy! not my moral responsibility?

Its worse than death to watch
someone having you in his fantasy
I would not be a man in love or even a man
If seeing this I dont feel any jealosy

Your coldness for me and warmth for them
when u always claimed that i was the one
I have now figured its not worth it! if u need,
so many's adoration, then i am not the only mattered one

I would rather be jealous,
then watch you in the eyes of everyone
and still witness ur warmth for them
Lemme tell you what this feeling has done

rendered me incapable of love for anyone!

Sarcastic Thoughts - Independent Girls?

In sequence to "The manikin" (Finding Someone?)......

What can one say about "independent" girls who need someone to share there feelings, experiences and (most truly) greviances.

- They are the girls of the next era .. the "robotic age".

Because robots can listen to them without giving them (right!) advices (advices which correct them/their path!) which hurt there "independent" ego! They care for someone to listen to their pain and tell them how right they have been all along and "this is what happens to people on righteous paths". A robot can be customized to present this condolence (without showing the error of the way chosen) in so many ways!

Someone said robotics is stagnant field these days! (DUH!) just need to target the right audience! thats all!

Mature thoughts

For everything maturity implies and expects ...... I would rather be dead than be mature

Uncertain thoughts

Uncertainities are as unnerving and irritating as the "Certainity" of death!

Lovable thoughts - Finding someone?

Why I shall one believe or hope some one is out there for him! Why shall one anticipate love and feelings when all they cause is pain before and later. And every time he/her (u thought is the one) proves to be no one!!! why shall one go for such purposeless pusuit! isnt life meant to be happy rather than finding constant unhappiness ..... by anticipation and break of relationships.

It may have been true in ancient times .. there is a soulmate for you (Or was it!! why was polygamy/Polygandry found...I wonder!!!). Why shall one hope for something that will bring weakness in him..... sooner or later....... making him vulnerable to heart ache, emotional distress. Why not rather enjoy life and hope nobody comes along. Well a standard answer is ofcourse .... "You need somebody's shoulder for support on when u are old". I would rather take a pillow and get a good nap rather than have so much heartache for somebody's shoulder. Or rather buy a "Manikin" .... custom made with suitable shoulders!!

Lovable thoughts - Is love strength?

What drives human towards love?. Is it the very wise saying - every one has one soul mate. Is it human nature or is it just that humans have fallen in love with falling in love? I would like to think that it is basically the latter.

Sometimes in their life everyone feels week and vulnerable and look for support. They fall in love with anyone who provides support during that time..... in terms of admiration if the person is of same sex.... and if the person is of opposite sex - LOVE. The latter leads to next downfall when he realizes that love had become an addiction instead of support. They still try to lie to themselves....... because they like to think it is good for them. This is a sign of any addict.

Later some do get over it and some loose their life on it. Love justs sucks life out of them, while they thought they were getting support (its not oxygen!). Is this strength! can we still call Love as strength!

Love doesnt really provide one strength. Well it does provide enormous strength to fight for itself(love). But what when u win this battle!!It happens that all that fire transforms into biggest ice .... coldness and aimlessness surrounds......This is when love becomes weakness!! And thats what one gets when one indulges into weakness. And what if you loose this battle!! well your good looking and handsome life starts to suck ..... big time ....So where do I c a win situation here...... Only when u r fighting for it (love)!!! Or by never falling in love , because u always fall ..always!

Reproachable Thoughts - Ridiculed

What shall one prefer a relationship expectantly full of love and promise or one night stands with no strings attached? Isnt the second option better than to burn in the hands of a relationship where the lover doesnt give much attention and with the whole society against, taunting and cursing.

You wonder whether I am serious? take it the way u want to ... all relationships start to suck sooner or later .... all that remains is some tiny threads .... which keep us hoping for better, which never happens .... its an unhappiness for eternity ... and yet hope for the same amount of time. The perfect murder of ones expectations from life/love/lover, at every step of life. The perfect destruction of self. The ultimate renouncement of happiness for the sake of true joy. The death of heart, the cause of a greiving soul searching for happiness at the very base of abyss, the chasm caused by love itself, its new found boredome.

Ofcorse one might argue, at some stage in life we all need someone for support, a shoulder to cry on. Well u dun need to choose abyss to get or find a shoulder. At every stage of life havent we already been provided with suppotrs and distractors - parents, friends, job, hobbies and in case you want someone to take care of you when you are invalid, get a servant or nurse. Love mostly doesnt last that long if started early. Still if you feel u need a shoulder to cry on, i would rather that you get a menican, he will always be there without protest (I doubt it though, since you are in so much requirement of a shoulder to cry on, with too much tears you probably get on his nerves too!).

Is it worth it! To go through a series of heartaches, crushed expectations, emotional trauma to find some one to go thru your "thick and thin"!!! Shall one end up making ones whole life "thick and thin" just for this. And guess what, the one whom u love might not stick with you during ur "Thick and Thin" ... Sorry ..... but that would be the worst time (and yet often is when u realize!) for revelations such as he/she is not the one :).

While on the other hand second option provides you the basic joys of human existance without giving in to the curse. One may feel emotionally deprived, ofcorse, which can cause frustrations and trauma again. Which means that it may be better to chose the middle path between these two extremities aka "short relationships". The worst part of short relationships is that they are not exactly in the middle of the two options and this results in most of the repercussions of "love" on atleast one of the partners after break up. Also adds a bit of emptyness in life, which sounds even worse than the extreme options.

Its much easier to choose between these if you havent already made a choice. Especially if you chose second option there is always an option of turning back and try the other one (But will you?).

But in case you have already made a choice, the first one, these realizaions will help little (its too late isnt it?). You find yourself at the bottom of "the abyss", with no "strings" taking you out of it but pulling in. With yourself realizing the nagging pull towards increasing darkenss, and yet not letting the string go, imagining "there is always light at the end of the tunnel", not realizing the only light you are going to find is your destruction. The paramount of helplessness, the feeling of sinking into the quagmire still hoping to come out alive.

I repeat - Life is all about choices, make one prudently not fervently

Tempting thoughts

The best way to get over a temptation is to give in to it.

The best way to keep your mind off a temptation is to find a more tempting one.

Taunting thoughts

When conscience is heavy, even the simplest of the statements sound taunting/sarcastic.

Biting thoughts

We are living in hell and we aint goin no where better, eve after death. So why not sin and enjoy;)

Poetic Thoughts - True Nightmares

At night, I wish it will be all over,
like a bad nightmare
In the morning, back on my face
I see it stare
Cruel and painful memories determined.
not to spare
How long will I be punished for follishness,
that once I did dare

3/3/2005